Discussion/Reports
The
Confrere and His Family:
1. What
seem to be some of the more emotional and sensitive issues
surrounding the
economic
relationship of a member of the community to his family?
A. The
community should more and more be organized so more help can
be directed
to
help our poor families. Some confreres take it upon themselves
to help their family
and
kill the community in the process.
B. We
need to reorganize and reconstitute our local communities around
proper charity
and
use of community funds.
C. Gifts
given for ordination and vows are a signal to our families
that we will pay them
back
for taking care of us. The confrere/priest has reached
a high position so no one
brings
him free gifts. Gifts are given with the expectation
that gifts will be given to the
giver
also. Some of our confreres really suffer under
the burden of these expectations.
D.
Superiors tend to look at this problem as an economic problem. Confreres
tend to look
at
this issue as a cultural issue.
E. There
is much confusion in our families about this matter. In
Africa you are always
part
of your family so they do not understand our way of life which
limits what we can
do
for them. All children are responsible for the family
and to address its economic
needs. It
is considered a matter of conscience for an African. As
Vincent reminded us,
we
are responsible for taking care of poor people. Why can't
our families be
considered
under this category of poor people?
2. What
principles need to be in place to assure that both the confrere's
and the community's
needs
are respected?
A. The
confrere's problem should be seen as the community problem-
if not at the local
level
at the provincial level.
B. We
should obey No. 15 in the Constitutions and Statues which talks
of taking care of
our
parents.
C. We
should follow the Fourth Commandment.
D. Mark:
7 Do not pay the temple tax before taking care of your parents.
E. Communities
have to be realistic - they may fail to meet the demands of
a confrere.
F. Both
religious and and parish priests need to catechize our parents
and families
about
the realities of the priesthood.
3. What
needs to take place in formation to prepare a seminarian to
deal constructively
with
this problem?
A. There
needs to be collaboration with the greater Vincentian family.
B. The
parish priest needs to instruct our families about the reality
of priesthood.
C. The
approach to be learned should focus on another confrere in
the same house
would
provide the assistance. Not the confrere himself. This
way the message that
is
communicated is that it is the community? response.
D. Seminarians
should be encouraged to be open and honest about their family's
problems.
E. We
need to involve our families in the formation of our families;
what are children
expected
to do? What can they realistically do? This
could take place in family
days.
F. The
cultural expectations of family support need to be clearly
understood by all
members
of the community for each tribe.
G. There
needs to be norms in place that are communicated to the students
that spells
out
what needs and when the community becomes involved. These
norms should
describe
ordinary and extraordinary circumstances when help may be given.
H. These
norms should be the basis of conversations between the superior
and member
of
a house.
I. Students
should begin to understand that his problems are the community's
so to
prevent
him from beginning occult behaviors in this matter. Instead
share everything
with
the superior.
H. It
needs to be made clear to the families and students what the
demands are of our
missionary
vocation.
